Rejiggered Expectations

A recent post - Balancing Act - reflected that, "Life is such a tricky balancing act.  When to acknowledge that something really deeply deeply bothers me, when to laugh it off.   When is laughing it off simply burying it, ignoring very real pain.  Not easy questions to answer. "  

In the days since writing it, have been struck by the wisdom of accepting that certain issues are critical for me, but rejiggering expectations of how to experience them.  Because no amount of wishing & hoping will make something that's an issue for ME an issue for anyone else if it just isn't.  It's not personal, except in the sense it what matters deeply deeply deeply (often irrationally) to one person is rarely experienced to the same degree by any others.  

And (ah, hem) it cuts both ways.  Things that are deep-in-their-dna issues for others aren't necessarily registering on my own radar.  Oh, I'll get it if they point out to me, "This is the issue that matters so much to me that you seem to ignore."  But come on - who other than, well...  me would yammer on in such an open-to-the-world way?  Most will just process it in silence.

Which leaves it up to me to rejigger expectations AND reactions.  Do my best to recognize other's deep-tissue issues, especially John's, and be sensitive to them.  Accept that it's up to me to understand my visceral issues are connected to ancient events long ago receded into distant history, albeit leaving behind toxic traces of emotional residue. Do what I can to sense & respect other's deep-tissue issues, stated or not.  

Because, face it - am I okay with experiencing (or causing) even an occasionally ruptured life due to emotional residue?  I think not.